It Made Sense at the Time, Okay?


you know that one tumblr powerpoint someone made a few months ago about satiation slowly changing the way you perceive humor until at some point you transcend humor altogether and someday we as a society will find only magnified jpeg images of hank hill with the words WEED printed over it hilarious?

i feel like i understand that now. i feel like this is it, this photoset is the surreal, nonsensical apex we are collectively inching towards. it’s vague and incomprehensible and even kind of threatening, but it’s as inevitable as the heat death of the universe and all we can do is submit ourselves to it

A wonderfully fluffy and melancholic fic about wings and blankets during the different phases of Dean’s life.





Dean watching 2014!Destiel → requested by grace

Now that we’ve seen glimpses of 2014!Dean in our current Dean, I wonder if this is as dark a future as previously thought. Dean has always been an unreliable narrator, so his assumption that 2014!Dean was going to sacrifice his friends might have been wrong. Dean, currently, doesn’t seem to bother telling people his plans, especially if he doesn’t think they’re worthy of it. And I’m sure 2014!Dean thought past!Dean was really unworthy of it—and, more importantly, the person that knew the plan was the person that mattered: Cas. 2014!Dean trusts Cas above all others this episode: they go over the plans together, and they have entire arguments and conversations through body language alone. Even something as simple as this scene right here, handing the binoculars over is Dean literally sharing the plan with Cas.

Would Cas, hopeless and hapless as he was, even died? He was to provide a diversion so Dean could have the time for the one crucial shot to kill the Devil, but that doesn’t necessarily mean Dean’s sacrificing him. Cas is a soldier—he knows what’s at stake, and the plan is dangerous, and they may not make it out alive. Dean might not either, and it’s something they both accept and move on with, because they’ve always known the greater good is what they both will sacrifice everything for. Maybe Cas would have died, but he would have died knowing full well what Dean’s plan was. Or maybe not—because Cas is as brilliant a tactician as Dean is, and he could have kept his small team alive long enough for Dean to get the one-shot he needed, and even after that too.

And maybe in this future, the Colt would have worked, and Cas would have emerged from that building with his small team in tow. And he would have found Dean trying not to sob over the body of his little brother, and gone to Dean’s side to offer what comfort he could. Cas would have been ready to stand with Dean again, ready to soldier on alongside him in this brave new world. Maybe they would have even been able to fix each other along the way, and emerge stronger than ever before.

I really need to watch this episode again…

Oh, god, jkateel! Look at what you wrote. I am sobbing. Sobbing. And dude, I love that you touched on Dean as an unreliable narrator, because he is. Everything we see from Dean’s pov needs to be filtered through a new lens, because his self-loathing colours everything. You can’t trust anything Dean sees (and how much do I love that S8’s Purgatory hi-lighted that?) I swear, half the arguments in this fandom stem from people missing that. Unreliable narration, man. SPN uses it so, so effectively.

This is the beauty of SPN. I’ve said this before, but writers write a story that has several layers, leaving it up to the reader to take it all apart. But sometimes they have unreliable narrators too, and you can go back and look at the scene from another point of view (in this case, the camera or by taking off the self-loathing filters) and realize the story underneath. This is what makes a great story: one you can back to time and time again and see something new.

(Aka Edlund is a genius.)

As long as we’re playing the hindsight game here: We’ve seen mounting evidence over the years to suggest that Cas has some sort of innate or gifted resurrection power. He’s died, literally, right before our eyes several times. And each time, he’s put back together, healed of his wounds, reset to some starting default status. Cas dies and comes back every single time.

(He appears to be unique among angels in this regard, but we can’t know for sure, as we haven’t seen any other angel but Raphael die on screen in a manner that didn’t involve an angel blade.)

2009!Dean wouldn’t know about this quality of Cas’s yet. He’s only seen Cas die once, and at the time, it appeared to be highly unusual; he was even worried it might’ve been caused by Lucifer.

By the time he reaches 2014, however, Our Dean would know that Cas resurrects. So it’s entirely possible that 2014!Dean knows about the ability too. And if so, then it’s possible that 2014!Dean knows that, even if Cas dies in the assault, he won’t be gone — he will somehow be resurrected.

2014!Dean is still willing to feed his friends into a meat grinder, yes. But is he also assuring Cas dies too? Several years later, the answer isn’t as obvious as it at first appeared. 

As an aside: as for the Colt working, I always thought “The End” foreshadowed that the Colt will not work against the Devil (something later confirmed in “Abandon All Hope”). When 2009!Dean runs into the Garden and sees Lucifer’s boot crushing 2014!Dean’s neck, there’s a shot of the Colt laying useless on the ground. Clearly it had been drawn. And while we can’t know for sure if 2014!Dean had gotten off the shot,  with how competent 2014!Dean is in all other matters, it seems he’d be capable of shooting a gun at point-blank range too.



Lucifer in a graveyard

(more of a celebratory shoot for almost finishing the wings since the actual costume is still unfinished)

this is too amazing goodbye

I wonder what would happen if police and prosecutors hired some IT savvy people, and took online threats seriously. I suspect that you’d only need a few convictions in a particular jurisdiction to get a better online climate there.

(Generally, unless you brandish a weapon, the standard Swedish punishment is around 60 day-fines, which would be about 3500 USD for me. For serious threats, one can get up to a year in jail, but that’s rare.)

Do you want a heartbreaking, non-magical last night on earth, with Dean and Cas in a mutual pining relationship? Then this is for you. Heartbreaking, I said. And bittersweet.

So, the other week I was watching Supernatural with a friend. He doesn’t really watch the show but he has some idea of what it is about. We were watching The French Mistake, and I was trying to explain to him a bit about who Balthazar was when this scene came on.

All he said was:

"So basically he’s kinda like the Gordon Ramsay of Supernatural."

I’m so sad that I can’t find the pic of when Sebastian dressed up as Gordon Ramsay.

I just watched Teen Wolf 1x07, Night School.

I hate running-from-the-monster-in-closed-buildings, okay? My heart is still beating too fast. I hate, hate, hate it. That’s probably one of the reasons I don’t do zombies.

Also, perivaleyard and fascinatingmisterspock were darlings and beta read my fic, but I’m too upset from the show to read their comments. Groke fic tomorrow it is, then.


Since klingon sex is basically violent wrestling, I wonder if the klingons don’t have BDSM but like the opposite. Klingons gathering in secrecy in dark cellars to engage in sweet, gentle loving, to the scorn of fellow klingons.

"How can you do that?" the other klingons ask. "You don’t even draw blood? Not a single furniture breaking? It doesn’t seem… natural".

"What is this… cuddle, you speak of?"




This was my reaction to the 50 Shades of Abuse trailer.

So I learned something today…



We already knew that Winchester was a type of gun, right?image

Yeah well remember these two?image

Dean Smith and Sam Wesson? Well guess what else is a gun company?


Apparently Smith & Wesson even sold their first gun design to Winchester, and after that the Winchester company took off.

And here we see another reason why the writers of this show must laugh at how clever they are every single day.

Well god damn.

Beta reading?

I’d like the help of a native English speaker (preferably American) for a quick readthrough of my Destiel ficlet. 3k, including author’s notes and summary. Team Free Will goes camping, hypothermia (and flashbacks for Sam) and cuddling, Destiel kissing at the end.

I do write pretty well unbeta-ed, but there are a few mistakes that I can’t seem to shake that show I’m not a native speaker. (Subject-verb agreement is one of them, alas.) I also learned British English, and have a tendency to mix them up a bit.

If you’re interested, please leave your preferred Google Doc email address in the comments.

Lay Your Weary Head


…here goes nothin’. I suppose I should add the warning: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH but really it’s all okay. ~1550 words.

Shelley wasn’t quite sure who Cas was, really. He must be some relation of Mr. Winchester’s, but who?

Mr. Winchester (the residents were all Mr. This and Mrs. That - it maintained a sense of professional detachment, or at least that was the theory) occasionally talked about his younger brother Sam – it wasn’t long after Sam died, about ten years ago, that Mr. Winchester came here to Twin Pines Assisted Living. Sam’s kids – Mr. Winchester’s niece and nephew – couldn’t care for him. They traveled a lot for work, apparently. They came for Christmas sometimes (and Cas never did) and sent him birthday cards every year (and Cas never did that, either). So did their kids, and collectively the staff were pretty sure they had all the spots on the Winchester family tree filled in, so… that kind of ruled any kind of close family out.

And Mr. Winchester never had kids of his own, so not his son, not his grandson even if he was about the right age for that. Not even really much family resemblance… Cas was really good-looking, with the dark hair and blue eyes, actually. Marta, the other caregiver on the floor, needed to be reminded occasionally that it was really not professionally detached to wonder about whether the visitors were single.

Whatever he was… he came every Thursday, at 9 AM when visiting hours started, like clockwork. Some of the staff who’d been here a long time said that if the clock said it was 9:01 when he turned up, you needed to set it back a minute, because Cas was never late. But that was pretty much all anyone knew about him for sure. Nobody could even come up with his last name. He hadn’t even filled out the visitor log in years because everyone knew him, and knew he was here for Mr. Winchester, so what was to fill out?

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Music meme

I was tagged by ceeainthereforthat and hamburgergod (I think). I’m supposed to write the first 20 songs in my electronic listening device when it’s on random.

So, a big part of my music library comes from perivaleyard because we bought a used iPod from him, and he has… eclectic… tastes. (And I mean it! Not as in “likes both country and western”, but as in “he has a whole room full of CDs, LPs, cassettes and other music media, and his library spans pretty much every genre in existence”.) I’ll mark the songs I’ve never heard before with an asterisk.

Only counting actual music tracks, here. (Or we’d get a lot of podcasts and audio books/plays.)

  1.     Weeping Willows - Into the Light*
  2.     Walter Carlos/Rossini - William Tell Overture (Abridged)
  3.     Emad Alaeddin - Dreams
  4.     Simple Minds - Twist/Run/Repulsion*
  5.     Frank Zappa/Mothers of Invention - Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance*
  6.     Frank Williams Sr - Hey Good Looking*
  7.     Borghesia - Message*
  8.     Murray Gold - Hologram
  9.     Jake Thackray - Pass Milord the Rooster Juice*
  10.     Stonefunkers - Ovan där
  11.     ABBA - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
  12.     Dinah Shore - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
  13.     Thomas Dolby - One Of Our Submarines*
  14.     Mylène Farmer - A Quoi Je Sers*
  15.     Die Form - Supreme Vice*
  16.     Stin Scatzor - Black Silence* (skipped after a minute; too much hard electronica for my tastes)
  17.     Imogen Heap - Headlock*
  18.     Lustans Lakejer - Vackra djur*
  19.     Chad Fifer, Matt Foyer & The Dunwich Chorale - Slay Ride
  20.     The Knife - Heartbeats*

There you go, a lot about the music in my computer, but much less about the music I actually listen to.

(If you know me, you know I don’t tag people.)